Memory

How precious are our memories. I have been thinking about that sentiment lately and what it's like for those of us who have less than reliable recall. After accepting the lifestyle changes that go along with weak memory, the hardest part is accepting the impact on other people's perceptions. Credibility becomes a major issue -- not always because they doubt the reliability of your memory, but because they doubt your integrity and core values.

If a student, for example, completes their homework but forgets to hand it in, studies all week but forgets to set their alarm for the big test, or forgets the instructions for an assignment, the teacher will dismiss the lapse in memory as intentional or even "carelessness". If one lover asks another "do you remember that time..." an the response is "no", this simple loss in memory makes it seem to one as if the other doesn't value the time they spent together.

A couple of months ago, work brought me into a Borders in Atlanta. I came across a book entitled Japanese Cooking at Home. Inside I found the recipe for 親子丼, which is one of my fondest memories from Japan as far as food goes. This may be the only book I've bought all year (pitiful, I know). I shared it with my girlfriend, and a week later she asked me "How salty is donburi supposed to be?" "What?" "The chicken and egg recipe from that book you bought." "What recipe? I bought a book?"

How painful something so fundamentally "good" as love can become when we can no longer share the memories we value. Some people go as far as to intentionally lock those memories away, but in the end, those memories will undeniably fade away. Whether it be in aging or in death, the longevity of our private memories is limited. What is more important is the chance to make those memories and the chance to impact the memories of those around us.