Only Sorry Is Not Enough

So lately I've noticed that my scarce blog entries tend to be mild exorcises in creative writing, with the title somehow forming an underlying motif. I'm not that creative, and I've come close to failing every writing class I've ever taken. So I apologize, but out of boredom (can't sleep and it's too late in the day to do anything productive without risking sleeping in tomorrow), I'm going to try to break the trend and just fill everybody in on what I've been up to these days. Sorry.

Rather than accomplishing my original goals for the break, namely studying Japanese and traveling to nearby countries to fulfill 2-year old promises that I'd visit friends this year in their respective countries, I've just made and tackled a set of new goals that presented themselves just as it seemed possible (convenient) to achieve them. Namely I've gone snowboarding twice, participated in a Japanese "naked festival", read a few chapters of Me Talk Pretty One Day, learned a number of no-bake recipes, begun a rigorous weight-training program, prepared an itinerary for my parents' upcoming visit, and watched a bunch of movies. Among the Chinese movies I've watched (since those help strengthen my Japanese language comprehension sooo much v_v), a line from 天下無賊 spoken by Andy Lau in English keeps popping up in daily conversation with the Chinese exchange students in my dorm, namely the title of this blog entry. (Ha! I bet you believed me when I said I was giving up the title-motifs! Now if I wanted to turn it into a full-fledged theme, I would have to rant about personal relationships.)

On a side note, I am mastering new social arts as well. My friends like to go out clubbing, often trying to make new friends at the club. The standard plan is to go to the R&B floors, sneak up behind somebody, and dance in a manner that suggests you have only one thing on your mind... making friends. This success rate in meeting conservative friends with this technique is less than desirable. Since 90% of the men at these clubs have this same game plan, women tend to go in pairs and dance with each other to have a plain excuse for not engaging in dance with creepy people. However, those who feel less than comfortable with this game plan (me included) get together and do quirky little dance moves such as the lawnmower, which immediately grants friendships with all the 30+ year old women trying to latch onto stronger-looking excuses for avoiding the creepy perverts in the club. My most successful tactic thus far has been going down to the retro floor, waiting for Bee Gees hits to start playing, and breaking out John Travolta's disco moves. Nothing says safe fun-loving guy better than an idiot making a fool of himself on the retro floor.

But I admit, there is a hidden agenda behind this clubbing. Not only do I get to learn about new places to go in the city and practice Japanese with new friends, but I have mastered the art of getting free food from women who are trying to foster a healthy relationship between the token foreigner (me) and their daughter. This past week, I visited a home where I received a declaration along the lines of "This time I cooked for you, but truly, my daughter can cook well also! Please come back often so she can prove it to you!" So my buddy and I took her and one of her friends out to the StarWars museum, featuring original props, costumes, and sketches for the 5 episodes made so far as well as the upcoming film. Not to spoil anything, but apparently there are robots with capes, and the Jedi have some big sci-fi-esque planning room that just seems to go against the image of the Jedi. Despite those drawbacks, wookies are introduced, and Yoda will continue to please the crowd with his awesome skills. The girl I was escorting seemed more than happy to go against the no-photography and no-touching rules posted about 5 places in every room. Security wasn't too happy with us, but just sorry was enough for them.

Yikes so it's really late and tomorrow (now today) I will attend a graduation ceremony. Blog to ya later!

Appreciation

I visited a non-demoniational (Lutherans in disguise) church today. Walking into this place is like walking into a Lutheran church in America. Everybody is suddenly speaking in regional American accents, the music is provided by two guitarists and a bongo player, the hymnals give 4-part harmony which is scrapped for new chord progressions that preserve only the melody, and the service itself is a practice in recitations of how we are selfish hateful sinners. Rather than reciting how we are unworthy of a relationship with God, whatever name He is given, I believe a church is responsible for encouraging a relationship with God. The pastor did say something that stuck with me. He said:

You must learn to feast before you can learn to fast.

His meaning, though I think it went right by the Japanese visitors, was that without true appreciation for time of celebration, fasting is miserable and meaningless. However, I think this kind of advice is only meant to suggest that life requires balance. It's right along the lines of "Good cannot exist without evil." I've spent a great deal of my life believing that I must understand all walks of life and be able to appreciate all forms of art and expression in order to comprehend the significance of anything. I've stretched myself too thin, and I exhausted my resources in the process. Granted, not many people have the bragging rights of becoming a senior after only 3 semesters of college, but close to half the courses I've taken by now have been classified as non-degree pursuits. My attempt to appreciate life looks more like a lack of focus on a single goal.

This week I've gained an appreciation for money, having spent most of my scholarship funds too quickly, counting the 10 dollars I have left to get me through the next week one by one. I've gained an appreciation for free food (er, I mean for Chinese-Japanese relations) at the two-day conference I attended with 2 wonderful performers of Chinese traditional instruments. I've gained an appreciation for people's complex emotions, encountering all sides of the human spirit this week. However, I still have no idea how to respond to people under certain kinds of stress. There are those who will hate you for trying to help, and those who will hate you for not trying to help. There are those who can only be happy with their expectations are met, and those who seek only the unexpected. There are stalkers, and those who wish to be left alone for life. This is far more complicated than a matter of there being leaders and followers. Perhaps I can never expect to understand what people want and what people need, and as long as there are people who follow nothing but their emotions, they will never be classifiable into any realm of rationality. I just wish these people would be willing to open up a little so we can learn to appreciate each other.