I ♥ NY

With all the traveling I do, I should have more opportunities to blog, considering how I'm deprived whatever opportunities require me to be home. And yet, with all the crazy stories I have on the road, I've found myself thinking so much about life at home that I forgot how entertaining my travels really are. So I've decided to remind myself and pick this whole blog thing back up.

Before I get to my recent trip through New York, I want to reflect on that whole I♥NY thing. I mean, how did that ad campaign become so huge? We've used the heart symbol to be cutesy in other situations... Sony Ericsson even replaced the heart with their (our) own logo to build a corporate identity in phrases like "I [Sony Ericsson] shaking it up", but even all the money we put into that campaign can't rival the popularity of the I♥NY campaign that's been running since the NY Department of Commerce paid for its creation in 1977. Of course, that campaign really picked up steam after 9/11.

A similar anti-negative sentiment (I'm sure there's a more appropriate term for it) has surfaced on MSN messenger by users in China. In response to all the air-time that's been given to the protests following the Olympic Torch (against Chinese occupation of Tibet), many Chinese have changed their MSN screen names to include ♥China. Only problem is, why raise a flag when the only people who are going to see it are other Chinese... and freaks like me who have random MSN buddies in China? My old college roommate Billy (gave me some of the best blog material ever) considered using other icons supported by MSN such as ♥Tibet or [broken heart]China, but upon deciding to go with [vomit]China, he got a verbal smack-down on MSN from his girlfriend in Shanghai.

So as much as I've wanted to go to NYC for a long time, having only flown over it to study in Rochester or driven around it to go to Boston, I finally got closer than I've ever been to visiting NYC: making a connection in JFK airport. Worst airport experience... ever.

OK so I had to book a flight to Mexico for work, but the prices shot through the roof (due to Cinco de Mayo? which apparently isn't even really a big deal here in Mexico City... they get a day off work the week BEFORE for an unrelated holiday, but nobody gets May 5th off). The cheapest flight I ended up finding was on American Airlines' website aa.com. Somehow, this flight, originating in North Carolina, flew north to connect in New York before going to Mexico. My coworker Glen matched the flight. From here on out, I think I need to shift gears so you can appreciate the experience:

In RDU, I check in to my AA flight with the AAdvantage/First Class kiosk. Only one boarding ticket is pritned, and there is nobody around to take my baggage. So I go across the room to the Economy line where there is a guy checking bags. I hear a voice call my name from where I was minutes earlier, so I walk back through the crowd to the AAdvantage line.

AA Agent: I'm DEEPLY Sorry for the wait. You're traveling to Mexico?
Me: Yes, but I only have one boarding pass to JFK...
AA Agent: OK... enjoy your flight!

The plane is a baby jet that doesn't allow carry-ons bigger than purses, so I "valet check" the other bag. Arriving in JFK, I meet my co-worker coming off the plane.

Glenn: Ahh, so you were on the plane after all. Didn't see you.
Me: I was in the first row with my head tilted so it wouldn't go through the ceiling.
Glenn: Gotcha. Well I'm gonna ask where our next gate is 'cause I don't see it listed on my boarding pass.
Me: You have a boarding pass? They didn't give me one...
Glenn: Yup. The machine said "see agent" so they gave me one at the counter. I guess it's because Aeromexico is SkyTeam and AmericanAirlines is OneWorld...
Me: OK whatever. That just means I need to check in when we get to the gate. No biggy.

Glenn goes on ahead while I wait for my "valet checked" bag along with a dozen others at the gate where such bags are to be dropped off. 10 minutes later we learn the gate is broken, so we march back outside to claim our bags. I catch up with Glenn.

Glenn: OK, apparently it's in another Terminal. The agent told me we have to take the AirTrain to Terminal 3.
Well let's get going. Where is this AirTrain?
Glenn: The agent said to follow the green signs to ground transportation.

We walk for about 15 minutes until the final green sign points us past baggage claim and out across the street to the AirTrain.

Me: So this means we have to go through security again?
Glenn: Looks that way... let's hop on the train.

We get on. The train has no map, only a chart showing which airlines operate out of which of the 8 terminals. There is also a marquee displaying the name of the next stop... something along the lines of "Howard Beach".

Me: Are we even going the right way? Howard beach doesn't sound like the name of a terminal.
Glenn: I thought I saw a map that shows this as a big oval, so it shouldn't matter which way we go.
Woman: Where are you trying to go?
Me: Terminal...
Woman: No no no this train goes AWAY from the airport. You need to go TO the airport.
Me: OK, let's hop on the other side. What Terminal are we heading to anyway?
Glenn: The agent said Terminal 3.
Me: Wait... this chart says... aren't we on Aeromexico? That's Terminal 1.
Glenn: She said 3...
Me: OK 3, 3... 3 is Delta... and... oh and US Helicopters. That's it. So unless we're riding a helicopter all the way down, we must be checking in with Delta... hmm... wait... Terminal 2 is Delta First Class? So what, the front of the plane is in a different terminal than the back of the plane? Oh and Delta medallion is Terminal 2... so, we're medallion but we're not flying first class. Do we board from the terminal where the front of the plane is sitting and walk through this apparently mammath inter-terminal plane to the back where we're sitting? This airport makes no sense!

We get off at Termainal 2/3 (they're the same stop). We cross several streets and arrive at a fork where you go different ways around the building depending on whether or not you're flying first class. We go the standard class and walk and walk until getting to some ticketing kiosks. I put in my Delta ID card.

Me: This machine says it can't read my card.
Agent: Here, you need to do it slower.
Me: ... it still doesn't work.
Agent: How about a credit card?
Me: ... ok now it can read it, but it says I'm not on a Delta flight.
Agent: ... well... ARE YOU on a Delta flight?
Me: ... well, I'm on the same flight as THIS guy.
Agent: Well let me check him in then.
Glenn: I already have my boarding pass.
Agent: ... Ok well here's the deal. While it may SAY ***BOARDING PASS*** on it, that doesn't mean it's really a boarding pass.
Glenn: It... what?
Agent: Here let me check you in Sir. ... Ok here's your boarding pass. You're all set.
Me: OK so can you check me in now?
Agent: This woman can help you.
Me: ...
Agent2: (chatting with some friends behind the ticketing counter)
Me: ...
Agent2: Sir, give me your ID. I can do two things at once you know.
Me: ...
Agent2: Ok, my system says you're not on a Delta flight.
Me: I am on the same flight as this guy.
Glenn: Well it's "Aeromexico operated by Delta".
Me: Let me pull up my confirmation
Agent2: Yes, if you have your confirmation number, that'll help a lot.
Me: Here is the number I got from American Airlines
Agent2: Sir, this isn't American Airlines.
Me: I understand but... ok it says my flight number is 405
Agent2: 405? Well I can tell you right now we don't have any flight 405.
Me: What?
Agent2: Let me check something... yes that's an Aeromexico flight. You need to check in with them in Terminal 1.
Me: I was... just in Terminal 1.
Agent2: Just go out this door and make a left and another left.

I go outside and find two Delta employees chatting with each other.

Me: Excuse me, how do I get to Terminal 1?
Woman: You need to cross the street and the next street and around to the AirTrain.
Man: What? Terminal 1? No you need to go down this way and take a left and keep going.
Woman: He doesn't want to walk all that way!
Man: He can walk! A little exercise is good for ya!
Woman: I wouldn't want to walk that far.
Man: Well this man can walk and I think...

I just walk away in the direction of the terminal, leaving the voices behind me, crossing several intersections with my roller bag and no sidewalks. I get to Terminal 1 and find Aeromexico. I don't really remember what I said to the agent, but there was practically nobody in the terminal and she looked bored. I checked in and she had to ask somebody how to say "Window or aisle?" in English and before I could answer she said something along the lines of "Well, you have a Window so go that way." I go through security and she wizzes by me while I'm taking my shoes off. I arrive at the gate and they start boarding.

Agent: We are now boarding First Class and Elite passengers.

My ticket says Elite 'cause I'm super awesome like that. I run up to the special line. When I get to the front, the agent pulls the rope in front of me, seeing I am neither rich enough for first class nor Mexican enough to have earned AeroMexicoPremier status.

Agent: Premier, sir.
Me: Elite, see?

She squints at my ticket for awhile then decides to let me through. Skip ahead to arrival in Mexico. I zip through immigration and wait at baggage claim and watch as they unload 4 planes of luggage, one after another, and my bag never comes through. I put on my "I'm lost" face.

Agent: Senor?
Me: My bag didn't come.
Agent: Que?
Me: um... Mi... um... no esta aqui.
Agent: flight?
Me: Aeromexico 405.
Agent: is here.

I look around for another 20 minutes and talk to the agent again. He finally bursts out a bunch of Spanish I can't understand and when I explain Mexico City is my final destination he points to another counter where I wait in line behind an Israeli man whose family is trying desperately to catch their 4-year-old running on the baggage conveyor belts. I get to the front of the line and report the baggage. I finally get to go through customs where they ask why I have more baggage listed than I am carrying. I am able to explain somehow in broken Spanish. Then comes the fun part.

In Mexico, customs is... special. You VOLUNTARILY declare what you bring. However, after your bags go through the x-ray, you have to press a button. Yes, that's right, there's a table with a button on it. It doesn't take your photo or read your thumbprint, it's just a stupid button. Like the Circuit City "Easy Button". Normally, you press it, nothing happens, and you go on with your merry life. About one in every dozen people or so has a different experience... like mine was this time. Pressing the button in this rare case makes a red light turn on which means the airport can now have its way with you. They go through your bag, and if they find anything that they could consider commercial merchandise, they charge you hundreds of dollars... right there, on the spot, cash only. Luckily my big bag was missing so I lucked out. I made it out, got a "low-carb burger" at Carl's Jr., and began my week without any clothes. At least my 300lb co-worker offered to let me borrow some of his.